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[to_rebel]

~Player Information~
Name: Kel
Personal Journal: kellenanne
Time zone: PST (GMT-8)
Contact: kellenanne [at] gmail dot com |AIM: gaerwn
Current Characters: n/a


~Character Information~
Fandom: Supernatural
Name: Castiel
Age: Apparent age is mid-thirties, thanks to the vessel he inhabits. Actual is anyone's guess. Ageless is, perhaps, the way Castiel might describe himself.
Canon Point: 5x13 "The Song Remains the Same" During Castiel's attempt to transport back to the present time.
History: Link to History of Doom
[Optional] Character Development and Relationship Transfer from previous RP: None.
Personality:
To say that Castiel is a being of deep conviction would be an understatement. This conviction has been tested beyond what he might have ever expected in the past year, but somehow the center has held. Castiel was created to be a perfect warrior for God; there would be no room for error, doubt, or questioning. Emotion is, as Castiel said, the doorway to doubt.

Somewhere along the line, Castiel began to feel. Faith is still an integral part of who and what he is; his faith has just been put in something -- someone -- other than his Father. It took Castiel time to make his decsion and his nursed the beginnings of emotion and doubt before he decided to finally act. To obey is so ingrained that not following orders is anethema. To put all his faith in one person -- Dean Winchester -- wasn't the difficult part for Castiel. The difficult part was disobeying orders.

In associating with the Winchester brothers, Castiel learned a great deal. Human quirks and foibles still elude him. (Anything referencing popular culture is completely lost on him, and he'll be the first to tell you he doesn't get it.) He sees humanity as flawed. He's seen almost nothing but raw hurt and grief during his time on earth. But his Father created them and, in Dean, he's also seen passion and belief and determination. Seeing his fellow angels act upon orders that called his faith into question and then being betrayed by one of his brethren shook Castiel to the core; Dean's belief that fighting for a simple thing like freedom was enough for Castiel to put all his faith and conviction into.

In short, Castiel is capable of great leaps of faith, especially if a Winchester suggests it to him. He calls them friends and he'd do anything for them, illustrated more than once in canon -- and twice he's died fighting on their side. (Twice dead and at least once, he went on what he thought was a suicide mission.) That isn't to say that Castiel has any sort of death wish. He will, though, fight with everything he has if he believes that he is right.

Sometimes, it takes him some time to figure out what he believes is right, though. Castiel is a logical creature, created to not even entertain emotion. Point out to him that faith isn't exactly logical and these leaps of faith he sometimes takes are foolish and he'll argue the point. This logical approach, coupled with his absolutely abysmal understanding of human culture, can make him seem naive and even less than intelligent at times.

Castiel was created to be a warrior. He has no use for polite social graces. If something needs said, then he'll say it. There is not point in softening the blow -- it'll hurt just the same, no matter how it's said, and for the most part, Castiel isn't concerned about sparing feelings. If something needs done, then he will find a way to do it. To do otherwise would waste time that he doesn't have to spare. Blunt and to the point, Castiel might not be the best at putting people at ease, but at least he doesn't beat around the bush. Some might appreciate that particular trait.

Because he doesn't always understand humans -- and perhaps because of a near absolute trust in Dean -- Castiel can sometimes inadvertantly make himself look far more gullible than what he is. He has a habit of picking up on one particular thing -- for example, a pop culture reference -- and repeating it at just the wrong time. If he's given a pop culture reference, he doesn't get it, but he'll try. Curiosity is a defining trait. Castiel wants to understand. He won't always ask, but he'll observe.

Admitting to weakness is not easy for Castiel and the only time he's ever done so is when one of the Winchester brothers asks him directly about it. Before Castiel cut ties with heaven and rebelled, he was an Angel of the Lord and none were more powerful than him. Given, though, that several beings were, this isn't quite a true statement, but after Castiel started to fall, his days as an all-powerful being were nearly romanticized. Castiel will only ask for help if he finds all over avenues blocked and he will only admit to weakness or defeat when asked -- and only if it's Dean or Sam.

Castiel is painfully honest. He does not know how to lie. He sees no point in it, even after having it explained to him time and again. He's an angel, he asks a question, people should answer. That's how it should work. He sees no reason to lie to anyone, even when it's (painfully) obvious that being too blunt in a situation would be asking for trouble.

To put it kindly, Castiel is blunt and honest. In less flattering words, he could very well grate on nerves. He, however, sees no reason to change. All in all, Castiel is fairly even-keeled, not prone to outbursts of emotion. He isn't patient or kind, though, and expects people to simply keep up with him -- or get out of his way. He has no use for fools or those who frighten easily. As one might imagine, reassurance is not something Castiel ever gives. In fact, he has a tendency to make things worse.

Castiel simply fails at small-talk. He can't seem to be inconspicuous. He's never quite human. Blunt, honest, fairly quiet unless there's something that needs said, and somewhat grating, he's probably not a person many people would really love to get to know.

If they did, though, they might just be amazed by how deep Castiel's loyalty and convictions do run. That isn't to say he's never shaken. He is. He lives on the run, hunting by demons and angels alike. He's standing against Heaven and Hell and he's not sure if he can win.

But he'll do what's right anyway.

Skills/Abilities:
Castiel is a warrior, first and foremost. At the point in canon I'm taking him from, his powers have suffered but he's retained many of the skills that made him an elite warrior of God in the first place. Castiel is skilled in languages -- even old, dead languages that human ears haven't heard in centures, or even languages that human ears have never heard -- and incantations. He is shown more than once to be performing an incantation meant to locate someone or something.

He is, for lack of a better word, telekinetic. He can move things with a thought. Though this has been somewhat limited in scope by his fading powers, he is more than capable of pulling bolts out of a wall or breaking pipe. He can -- again for lack of a better word -- teleport. In the strictest sense, he is flying; wingbeats usually accompany his arrivals and departures, but the travel is nearly instantaneous. He is still capable of traveling even through time, but this puts a great strain on fading resources. He will not do it again unless he absolutely has to.

Castiel is capable in hand to hand and with his dagger, though he has a habit of underestimating opponents. Arrogance is his greatest weakness. He almost seems to forget that his Grace is fading and he isn't as strong as he once was. While intelligent and certainly capable of strategizing, Castiel has more than once got himself in tight spots because of this. It is usually his own obstinance that gets him into trouble: he refuses to ask for help, sometimes even thinking he will not need the help, and remembers too late -- or finds out on the spot -- that he simply can't do the things he used to anymore.

Canon Update Information.

Former Canon Point: 5x13 "The Song Remains the Same"
Point you're updating to: 7x17 "The Born-Again Identity"
Any power changes? Yes! Castiel is once again a full-powered angel. From the original app, with slight modifications (to reflect that his power isn't fading this time): Canonically, Castiel is shown to teleport. (In the strictest sense, it can be describes as flying, as long as one doesn't apply any rules of physics to it. He disappears and appears as if teleporting, but there is an accompanying sound of wingbeats and a rush of air.) He is shown to possess the basic powers of most angels in canon: telepathy, visiting people in dreams, enhanced endurance and strength, accelerated healing, telekinesis, and pyrokinesis. Angels in canon seem to possess a "think it and you can do it" skillset. I'm very aware this is somewhat godmode, but I'm also more than willing to work with the setting and with other canons/characters re: how his powers would affect others or be affected by others.

Any personality changes? Again, yes. His core personality is still very much the same: reserved and loyal and more than willing to shoulder the weight of the world, his core values haven't changed. He had, however, been broken, for lack of a better word. Bad choices prompted by overwhelming stress broke something inside of him and his mind... Well. It went away for a little while. He betrayed all those things he held dear, including his adopted Singer/Winchester family. He did come back to himself after realizing just how much death he'd been responsible for. When Sam showed a little faith in him, via a desperate prayer that basically said "please come back," he did -- and asked for help. Castiel's mind had shattered and the monstrous souls from Purgatory were breaking down his vessel (and killing him in the process.) He didn't want forgiveness, but he did need to apologize. He didn't think he deserved the effort put forth to save him -- he was in it to release the souls and end the threat he was very close to releasing on earth. Leviathans from Purgatory were perilously close to taking over; he tried to send them back but could not. He was taken over and his deteriorating vessel was seemingly torn apart by the Leviathans. Believing Castiel to be dead, Dean and Sam went on their way, Sam steadily getting worse as that piece of Lucifer Castiel had set free in his mind plucked at his sanity. It was months later that Dean, in a desperate attempt to save Sam from that figment of Lucifer, stumbled across Emmanual Allen, a healer married to a woman named Daphne and who was the spitting image of Castiel.

Suffering from amnesia -- which was a kinder fate than Castiel thinks he deserves -- "Emmanual" goes to help Sam and remembers everything in the process. He can't fix Sam's problem, but he can take it on himself. In the end, Castiel remembers the betrayals, remembers the deaths he's responsible for, and makes amends as best he can by taking that figment of Lucifer inside his own mind. A mind already weighed down by immeasurable guilt could not stand up to that sort of strain and Castiel had to be placed in a psych ward, reluctantly left under the care of a rogue demon.

This new character development adds a weight to Castiel that changes him on a deep level: he knows what madness is, knows what it is to be completely and totally unhinged, and knows what it's like to want to come back and ultimately fail. He knows all too well the horrible pain of realizing just how very wrong he was and the deaths of so many people and angels weigh heavily on him. He doesn't believe he deserves to live, but he wants desperately to make amends; this is part of why he gave his very sanity in order to save Sam. For him, taking on a fragment of Lucifer is a fate far worse than death and Castiel believes he deserves so much more than that.

There's also, in a smaller part, a new appreciation for what it's like to live completely free of burdens, living only to help and with a loving wife. What's perhaps most telling about his personality and what he wants for himself and for others -- especially for others -- is what he became when he lost all memory of himself and his past. As an amnesiac who discovered that he had some gift of power, Castiel fell into the role of a healer. There was no fighting. He had a wife. He gave of his time and energy without expectation of a reward. Somewhere, underneath all the madness and guilt, is simply a person who wants to help. (There is some speculation that his wife, Daphne, was somehow manipulating him, but in the scenes we see of them together, they have a fairly easy relationship; this is could be partly because Castiel remembered absolutely nothing of his former life, but retained many of his "how does I do humanity?" characteristics. He could be manipulated fairly well in state, if someone knows how to do it, especially on an emotional level.) It's bitter, to have a taste of that normal, easy life and know he can never have it again. He doesn't feel that he deserves it in the least, but he'll remember Daphne and that home they made with fondness. She stands as a model what a person should be: selfless and giving. If speculation is true and he does find out she was manipulating him, it would both crush and relieve him. Crush him because he perhaps did love her somehow; relief because that sort of love is something he never should have earned anyway.

Lucifer's presence in his mind will be scarring, even after the problem is fixed. Once can only take so much damage before mental faculties take a permanent hit; always somewhat quiet, Castiel will be more prone to "zoning out" and unwittingly focusing on one inane task to the point where he blocks out all else. He may hallucinate -- or think he's hallucinating -- and act accordingly. Things might not feel quite real to him. Because this fragment of Lucifer comes on the heels of losing himself, regaining his mind, losing it again, falling into amnesia, and then regaining horrific memories, it's understandable that it affects him so quickly. On top of this, coming into the Underworld and regaining memories of torture, friendships he doesn't believe he deserves, and warnings of a future he didn't avoid won't help; he'll be more reserved and prone to question what is a real memory and what might be a manufactured hallucination born of a fragmented mind. (I don't see him being willing to live with Sam again right away; that may take some cajoling. Castiel did wrong by Sam and doesn't think he'll ever be forgiven. He doesn't think he'll ever deserve it, but a part of him desperately wants to make amends anyway.)

He has, however, learned a very important lesson: Do not lie or avoid people who are willing to help when he is overwhelmed. His mind is more prone to breaking down, but he's also more willing to seek out help. He has changed in many ways and most of that boils down to guilt. He carries an immeasurable weight and possesses a very fragile mind. It will take him some time to find his feet again, even after the figment of Lucifer is locked away. He still doesn't know quite how to ask for help sometimes, but he will when his mind shuts down and he doesn't know what else to do. His idea of asking might boil down to showing up on someone's doorstep and simply wanting company while he works through memories, but it's a step up from hiding behind alcohol and stoic reserve.

Many things remain the same though: a core strength of will that lets him survive when he shouldn't, an unshakeable faith in friends, and an all-encompassing need to prove himself worthy of their affection. At this canon point, he hurts and he doesn't know how to fix it, but that's okay; he doesn't deserve to not hurt. Mentally, he's not as strong, but as time goes by, his experiences with madness will help him to understand and correct problems before they become huge issues and perhaps even help other people understand and deal with such problems. It will take time for him to get to that point but he truly does want only to help; as an amnesiac, that is what he gravitated toward.

He will have his powers back, but he'll be careful about their use: he's used them too often to either do wrong or try to fix the wrong he's already done. His first impulse will be to do things the human way, unless he's fighting in some way to protect someone. So, while retaining angelic abilities, he'll be less prone to use them without thought; between his time in the Underworld without them and knowing he can do so much wrong with them, he won't be throwing his weight around all that often. (Unless a friend needs help; then woe to those who would stand in his way.)

As a note, Castiel won't lose any of his Underworld development, but it might take some time to make sense to him; his mind has been so shattered and fragmented that a sudden influx of both good and (mostly) traumatic memories will not be processed with much coherency right away. He will immediately recognize previous CR as either important or indifferent, but until he sorts through memories, shoves Lucifer out of the way, and finds a way to start to reconcile who he was with who he is, he may not remember things with much clarity. (General memories, though, out of order and fragmented from context are fair game.)